The Psychology of Boggarts
by probablynever
Summary: Harry encounters a boggart in Fred and George's apartment and becomes depressed. Ron comes up with an idea to cheer him up. This story is slash between Harry and Ron.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Also, any themes that are similar to those in other fanfictions is purely coincidental.

A/N: I might have taken some liberties with what the boggart is actually capable of presenting. Just to let you know :) The story pretty much lays out where Harry and Ron are in their relationship. It takes place in about pre-sixth year.

* * *

Ron was straightening things up around Fred and George's apartment, wondering where Harry was, when he heard a startled gasp from upstairs. Ron turned and swiftly began jogging up the stairs, but stopped when he heard his own voice say, "No one wants you, Harry. No one could ever love you." Ron was puzzled. He hadn't said those things, yet the words had been spoken in his own voice. He quickly hurried upstairs to see what was going on.

There Harry stood in front of the closet, in tears, oblivious to Ron watching him from the doorway. In front of Harry, a strange scene was playing out. Another Ron was standing in between Harry and the closet, telling Harry how worthless he was, how he was going to leave him, and how no one could love him.

"You're so pathetic, Harry. Did you honestly think I loved you? I've been wanting to break off ties with you for years now. I just hadn't done it yet because I felt sorry for you," the cold-hearted duplication of Ron declared, with such malice that the real Ron flinched. He stood in complete confusion watching himself verbally assault his boyfriend. Then it struck him. The phantom Ron was a boggart.

"Harry!" Ron shouted, coming to his senses. He snatched Harry away from the closet. The boggart instantly retreated into the small enclosure, shutting the door. Ron pulled Harry into his arms, stroking his hair. "Oh mate," Ron soothed, in a soft, loving tone that he reserved solely for Harry when he was upset. Harry didn't react much. He simply stood there with his head on Ron's shoulder, letting tears seep into Ron's shirt. Ron felt his heart break, like it did whenever Harry cried. "Hey hey hey, it's all right, love. I'm right here. I would never say _any_ of that stuff. It's okay, Harry. It was just a boggart, mate."

"I know," Harry said, a bit huskily. "I just couldn't stop watching, I guess."

"I know what you mean, but don't you believe a word of what it said, babe. Everything that thing said was a total lie. I love you so much. You know I would never leave you, let alone hurt you like that."

Harry pulled away, wiping at his eyes. "Don't say that, Ron. You never know the way things will go." Harry looked away, a fresh set of tears spilling down his cheeks. His heart fluttering, Ron thought about how Harry was constantly told by his abusive relatives that he was unlovable. _Of course_ Harry feared that Ron would think he was worthless and leave him. Even though he had celebrity status in the wizarding world, Ron was now well aware that Harry's home life had been full of both physical and emotional abuse. Even the wizarding world could be toxic to Harry's self-esteem. They constantly built him up and then rejected him whenever something completely out of Harry's hands happened, like when everyone thought he was the heir of Slytherin in second year. It enraged Ron to think about how the magical universe often forgot that Harry was a person, rather than an emotionless hero they could just hurt whenever he struggled with their demands. It made Ron even angrier to think of Harry's cruel monsters of relatives, who abused him so horribly simply because he was a wizard. Now all Ron wanted to do was erase all of the pain and abuse Harry had been forced to deal with and replace it with love.

Ron softly wiped the tears away from Harry's face. "Well, I guess you're right about that, but I love you more than anything, Harry. I'll _always_ love you. And unless you leave me, I can't see myself going anywhere." Ron guided Harry onto the floor and wrapped his arms around him again, planting kisses on his head and allowing Harry to try to compose himself. "Hey, hey, mate. Calm down. I've got you. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere, mate."

After a couple of minutes, Harry untangled himself from Ron's arms."Thanks. I'm sorry," Harry said sheepishly.

"Don't you _dare_ apologize, Harry. And don't thank me either," Ron commanded, accustomed to Harry's tendancy towards over-politeness. An idea suddenly came to him. "So, that's your worst fear, huh?"

"Well, I know how to defeat the dementors now, so..." Harry said. Ron laughed lightly, happy Harry was cheering up a bit. He kissed him sensually, then pulled away.

"You wanna see my worst fear?" Ron asked, grabbing Harry's hand.

"Sure. Spiders still?"

Ron shook his head. "A gazillion times worse than spiders." He pulled Harry up to his feet and walked by himself towards the closet. He turned to face Harry. "I'd take a spider any day over this shit. Last summer, a boggart got into our attic and this is what I saw. It messed me up for days." Ron rasped the last few words, tears springing to his eyes when he thought about his previous encounter with the creature.

"Hey, Ron," Harry quickly replied in a concerned voice, walking over to him. "You don't have to show me if you don't-"

"I know," Ron interrupted, wiping his eyes and holding up a palm. "Stay back. I want to show you this."

Ron turned away from Harry, took a deep breath, then swung the closet door open.

The boggart revealed the exact same event that Ron recalled from the previous summer. Harry was bruised and broken, being forced to scrub the floor by his Aunt and Uncle, who glowered over the teen, shrieking angrily at him. Then Voldemort entered the scene and cast the killing curse on Harry. The only difference this time was that just after Voldemort had killed the phantom Harry, the real Harry quickly pointed his wand at the display and shouted "Riddikulus!" before running to Ron's side. The scene playing out before them swiftly changed to one in which Voldemort was handing out ice cream cones and licking an ice cream cone himself. Ron hadn't even noticed. Ron had sullenly collapsed to the floor midway through the boggart's twisted performance. Ron was now the one in tears. Harry soothingly took Ron into his arms. "Shh, Ron it's all right. I'm right here. It's okay."

"You don't know how much you mean to me, Harry," Ron whispered, holding the brunette tightly. "That's why I wanted to show you that. If something were to happen to you, I wouldn't know what to do."

"Shh, it's okay, love. I'm not going anywhere. I can take care of myself. I'm not that worried about Voldemort either, especially with you by my side. Shh, Ron, it's okay. Everything's going to be fine."

They remained in each other's arms for awhile, until Ron finally let go, immediately wiping at his eyes and nose. "Merlin. I ended up crying way more than you did."

Harry kept one arm draped over Ron's shoulder. "S'okay, Ron. You've always been there for me when I've been depressed."

Ron looked at Harry and smiled slightly, his eyes red from crying. "At least I don't have to worry about your fucking aunt and uncle anymore."

"That's right. I can't thank you guys enough for, you know, getting me out of there and stuff," Harry said, somewhat awkwardly. Though he did feel very grateful to Ron, he always hated talking about his relatives.

"Don't you _dare_ thank me for that, mate. No one should be treated like that, least of all you, and it fucking kills me when I think about how much sooner we should have realized what they were doing to you and just how bad it was," Ron trailed off, dangerously close to tears again. Ron hadn't realized just how much guilt and sadness he had been repressing.

"Shh," Harry consoled him, taking Ron into his arms again. Ron felt even guiltier that it was _Harry_ who was comforting _him_. "You couldn't have known, Ron. I didn't _want_ you or anyone else to know. You know, you grow up with that all your life, you kind of instinctively start hiding it. They always told me, 'you tell anybody about this shit and we'll kill you'. And anyway, I was, you know, kind of embarrassed about it."

"Yeah, but I should've put two and two together when we saw that they put bars on your window in second year," Ron choked in between sobs.

"Oh, Ron. We were just kids. You couldn't possibly have grasped that that meant they were abusing me. Hell, at that age, I'm not even sure _I_ totally understood that they were abusing me. You know, they kind of, well... you know, always tried to convince me that I was bad and I deserved it."

"Oh, Merlin fuck," Ron growled, crying even harder. "I hate them so much."

Harry laughed lightly. "Yeah, they're pretty terrible, but It's okay, Ron. I'm all right now. They did some... some really fucked up stuff to me, but I'm safe now. I'm all right now. Don't cry," Harry cooed, stroking Ron's back. "Don't do this to yourself. You did the best you could. You rescued me. I'm okay now, and it's because of you. You've done so much for me, Ron. You have _nothing_ to feel bad about." Ron finally began to calm down, his breath coming in soft hiccups. He withdrew from the embrace. Harry moved in to kiss him, but Ron stopped him.

"Don't. I've got snot all over my face."

Harry laughed softly. "That's okay. I'll go grab you a tissue." He left and swiftly returned with the tissue. Ron took it and blew his nose violently, swabbing at his eyes.

"Merlin," Ron repeated. "Bloody fucking hell. I'm sorry, mate. I didn't expect to start crying like that."

Harry draped his arm around Ron's shoulder again. "It's no big deal, Ron. You've been taking care of me so much these past few months. It's natural that you'd have some pent up emotions. And anyway, it's kind of nice to able to take care of you for once. I've felt so weak and pathetic this whole summer."

"Oh, mate," Ron gushed. "You're _always_ the strong one. Not only because you were able to survive all that abuse, but, I mean, I'm the one that always feels a bit inferior to you, you know? You're the big, strong savior boy-who-lived, who regularly sticks it to Voldemort. You're really smart, and, on top of that, you're a handsome, sexy quidditch star. I'm not jealous of you anymore, but, I mean, you're so perfect, mate. Sometimes, I feel like I'm, you know, not good enough for you. That's one of the reasons why I liked taking care of you so much, aside from the major reason of being able to hold you so much and stuff." Ron smiled and blushed.

Harry returned Ron's smile. "Thanks, but, obviously, I'm far from perfect. I mean, I'm okay at Quidditch, and I have this weird obligation to fight Voldemort, but other than that, I'm an emotional mess. And, you know, I'm not really outgoing and personable like you. But of course, you're more than 'good enough' for me, Ron! You're more than I could ever dream of. I love you so much. You're gorgeous, you always make me laugh, and you always make me feel better when I'm down. And anyway, I was always a bit worried you'd go for Hermione."

"Oh fuck no, mate," Ron reassured him. "I've always been crazy about you. I've always been worried _you'd_ go for Ginny. That's why I wanted us to stay at Fred and George's apartment. I was like, 'I don't want that temptress around Harry'." Harry broke out laughing. Ron couldn't believe he was sharing these things with Harry. He'd never been so open with him or with anyone before. It was scary, but it felt good. "As for Hermione, it's just that everyone was always saying 'oh, you should be with Hermione'. So I did sort of try to like her like that because I didn't want anybody to know that I'm, you know, queer. Besides, I had no way of knowing whether you'd, like, like me back." Ron's blush deepened. He sounded like such a preteen.

To Ron's relief, Harry smiled. "Well, I'm glad you didn't date Hermione. Believe me, I wouldn't have been too thrilled." Harry smiled coyly. "Anyway, if it's any consolation, you did help convince me that you love me."

Ron flirtatiously smiled back. "You're damn right I do." The young men shared a long, intoxicating kiss. Ron broke the kiss off and said, "And as for Voldemort, you're right. We'll both kick his ass together, mate. I'll be right there with you." The redhead turned to the closet. The boggart had long since vanished.

"Hey," Ron said. "I missed it. What'd you do to the boggart?"

"Oh, I turned it into Voldemort handing out ice cream."

Ron burst out laughing. "Damn. Wish I'd seen that. Well, come on, let's go downstairs and get some lunch, mate." Ron threw his arm around Harry's shoulder. Both teens felt relaxed and happy just to be with each other, and both couldn't help but feel a bit grateful to the boggart that had been in the upstairs closet.


End file.
